Old Broads

Old Broads

Monday, December 24, 2012


Tequila Christmas Cake
Once again this year, I've had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe so here goes: Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.
Cherry Mristmas

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


And then there's the hearing problem.....

Okay here's what happened at Robbie's 8th grade graduation 5 years ago.  We were sitting in the bleachers (in the hot, hot sun) waiting for his name to be called.  Some idiot woman in front of me had a huge balloon bouquet and it kept getting in front of my face.  I asked her three times to keep it lowered and finally she went off the bleachers onto the field (still in front of me) with the balloons still waving around blocking my view.  Finally I had had enough and leaned over the railing and told her if she didn't keep those IUW$R#)JG)_ balloons down that I was going to pop every one of them!!!  Would you believe that while I'm yelling at her they called Robbie's name and I missed it completely.

Now what are the chances that the same exact thing would happen at Maggie graduation?  What - one in a million!  Well I should be so lucky with the lottery because DANG!  it happend again.  When I took off after the woman to ask her to lower the ballons, Cat says, "Mom, where are you going?"  as I turned around to tell her she is just shaking her head and says, "Too late, they just called her name"  I'm thinking that when I'm on the warpath my hearing goes on the fritz because once again I COMLETELY MISSED IT!!!  I promised my daughter that I would do better with my great grandkids.  Giggles : )

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

Saturday, November 17, 2012


Okay here's the deal.  I had such a shock yesterday that I told a friend that she needed to start digging a big hole because, "I'm just gonna shoot myself!"

Why?  Well, I was talking to a neighbor and she said she was going to her 50th. high school reunion the next day.  I laughed and said, "Gee, that's a long time" and then I asked her the FATAL question, "What year did you graduate?"  When she said 1962 I almost fell over!!!  "Can't be 50 years" I told her "because I graduated in 1963 and it just can't be 50 years, it can't, it can't, no way."  Now I now that I am 66 and I graduated when I was 17 - but OMG 49. almost 50 years!  I just don't feel that old!!!

So being the kind, nice, sharing person that I am and because I always share jokes and laughter and good news I called my long time friend and shared this bit of news with her and then added, "I didn't want to be depressed all by myself!"  I won't tell you her response but then we figured out that we have been friends for 55 years.  So now I feel much better, she on the other hand is not feeling so chipper. Oh my, how time does fly.

Best, (as best as this old broad can be!)  giggles.

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!


After I told one of my pals the 50-year reunion story she tried to cheer me up with this email. And it worked!

“You look Ma Va Les Da Lin!! We just don't care how long it has been...don't think about it! No one in your class looks like they used to and you would not recognize them if you passed them in the street! Just start out like you are a new person!

One time my sister and I were in Vegas and we got stuck at a casino when the light rail stopped running till 7:00 the next morning. Kathy was in one of those electric skooters that she rented, but costs a fortune to call a special company bus service to drive you back to your hotel. Too dangerous for us to walk the sidewalks so we decided to pretend to ourselves that we just awakened and were starting out fresh...we gambled all night in this casino...no restaurants were opened either. We caught the light rail at 7:00 and went on down to several other areas that we wanted to see before we went back to our hotel to crash...still pretending to ourselves that we were rested. Finally, we got back to our hotel after all that time and having a bit of lunch and went to our room. I went straight to the shower. Meanwhile, as I came out of the shower, the phone rang and it was her husband asking what time he was to pick her up at the airport. We told him it was not today that he was picking her up, but tomorrow. He told us the date and we realized that at that time, we were supposed to be checking out and soon to be catching the plane to return home! I can tell you...in my wet hair...I about died! OHG! Well, we had lost a day and did not even realize it since we had fooled ourselves. I had to change all of the reservations with the airline and get an extension with the hotel and we have enjoyed that story ever since! Our lost day!

We may be old, but we can still have a ton of fun! No one ever could believe my age, since I am still spry and wear fun clothes and wear my hair long and very curly. I could care less what anyone thinks, so I am a bit ecentric! Anything goes after 65 years! I found that you can look the most handsome darling young guy in the face and tell him how adorably handsome he is and get away with it, too!
Good day, deary,”

I am always glad to hear these stories because it means that I’m not the only looney old broad out there!

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


I had emailed my giggly buddy to repeat a story from Fawn about her pet raccoon learning and liking to kill chickens and how it finally had to be destroyed.  Not a nice story but my hilarious friend sent me this about her raccoon experience.

“Your right about racoons wanting to kill your chickens. . . one day we had company and as we were walking our guests out to their cars, I saw a racoon trying to climb into the chicken coop through the open window!! Now mind you our guests were not . . shall we say hunters. . . so as my BF was saying good bye and helping folks into their vehicles, I disappeared into the house and a few moments later was back holding the shot gun.
There I am, holding the gun across my folded arms, patiently waiting for them to pull a ways down our long drive way so I can take care of the masked intruder. .
it looked like all was going according to my plan, they backed up, turned around and started down the driveway. . . so quickly I handed the gun off to my BF, then I took a shovel and knocked him off the windowsill onto the ground, jumped back, . . . . he took aim. . . and WAIT!!!! Our guests are pulling back in!!!

The coon ran up the tree, my BF is standing there with the gun, I am running to the cars. . LOL!!! They were horrified. . . I had to explain why we were about to "murder this cute adorable lil' racoon" when BANG. . .BANG. . . my BF nailed him.
Well, my guests don't come to visit here any more. . . we can go see them at their place though!!!  :-D
So you see, my life is never dull. I can tell stories the rest of my life!”

I appreciate this friend so much, I can always count on her for a giggle or belly laugh or sometimes I chuckle all day thinking about her stories.

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


I have a family of raccoons living under my house and have been complaining mightly to a humerous friend on her e mail.  I recently received this solution from her.


“Since you have to deal with the raccoon's. . . why not entertain yourself! My Nana had a family of them she "supported" until Grampa got them to move on. She popped some popcorn for them, gave them a small pan of water ( like a used cake pan or aluminum pie plate) and then some sugar cubes. Well, being well mannered raccoon's, they always wash their food before eating. . . so the sugar cubes dissolved as the washed them. . soooo funny seeing them look for the cubes in the water!!! LOL!!! Then there was the popcorn. . . wet fingers made the popcorn stick to them instantly. . like sticking your tongue out and catching a piece of popcorn off your hand. . ( go ahead and try it if you never have, you'll giggle and understand how funny this will be!!) So as they are trying to deal with this, it gets caught in between their fingers and toes. . . they look so funny as they start to walk . . . giggle. . I'm telling you. . us mountain women have our on sense of fun!!!

Not so cute!

That's a true story, one I will never ever forget. My Nana was so much fun to be with and I am so happy I have her spirit in me!!”

My answer to her was,  “I don’t want to play with them, I want them to leave”.  So I bought some mothballs and spread them around where they are entering and I’m hoping that will work.

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Okay so I am still stressing about my looks.  It just so happens that during the last two weeks I have been given two pictures of myself and all I’ve got to say is, “UCK!!!” 

I look absolutely terrible.  Double terrible going all the way to OMG – what happened here!  So first I asked my daughter, “What’s wrong here?”  Are you surprised that I didn’t get an answer, she sort of hemmed and hawed around and I left feeling worse than before.  So then I asked Fawn and she looked at me and looked at me and looked at me.  (I could just see the wheels turning, she’s thinking to herself, “Do I tell her the truth and risk losing a friend or not?”  So finally I let her off the hook and said, “Is it my eyebrows?”  Well she jumped on that like a kid on a trike and said, “Let’s go play in my makeup!”  I was pretty sure I was in trouble then but thought that since I really needed help I was desparate!!!

I used to have really thick eyebrows (and eyelashes and hair) in fact the only thing that wasn’t thick on me THEN was my waist.  But my first pair of granny glasses rubbed on my brows and thinned them out for me.  They looked good for a while and then they started – oh well, I may as well tell you, they’re awful.  My brows consist of some black & and some white and they get really long but there isn’t many of them.  Then there’s the wee scar on my left one where no hair grows but I sure had fun getting that scar – hey, it was the 60’s, what can I say. 

I had tried eyebrow pencil before but never liked the look but I went ahead and used some of Fawn’s pencil.  And she said, “Well, that’s a start!!!”  A start!!!, I’m looking for a quick all over fix, head to toe, yeah and while I’m dreaming, lets lose a few of the pounds and a lot of the wrinkles.  THIRTY, yeah I’d like to be and look 30 again.  That would just be great for me, I’d be so happy, well maybe I’d need some more money too, maybe a lot of money and I could shop and travel and shop and go out to dinner and shop.  Well, you get the idea.

I’m still wondering why I can’t carry that bathroom mirror around with me.  LOL!

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

Saturday, March 31, 2012


They say a picture is worth a thousand words but since I don’t have one let me see if I can give you a mental image of stupidity. 

Yesterday I was out sweeping my porch when a friend called and I THOUGHT I could put the phone under my chin and sweep too.  I only dropped the phone twice and each time, being the polite person that I am, I politely asked her if she was okay.  The third time the phone slipped I tried to grab for it but it has a mind of it's own and I fumbled several times trying to get hold of it.  Well I didn't!  The phone fell and somehow I got the end of the broom up my nose.

Oh go ahead a giggle, I mean how stupid can I be.  Okay, you can stop laughing now, please.

Recently a neighbor called me a witch when I was standing there with a broom in my hand.  I will forever be sorry that I didn’t stick the broom between my legs and go trotting off.

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!