LAUGHTER – AGEING IS NOT FOR THE TIMID!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words but since I don’t have one let me see if I can give you a mental image of stupidity. 

Yesterday I was out sweeping my porch when a friend called and I THOUGHT I could put the phone under my chin and sweep too.  I only dropped the phone twice and each time, being the polite person that I am, I politely asked her if she was okay.  The third time the phone slipped I tried to grab for it but it has a mind of it's own and I fumbled several times trying to get hold of it.  Well I didn't!  The phone fell and somehow I got the end of the broom up my nose.

Oh go ahead a giggle, I mean how stupid can I be.  Okay, you can stop laughing now, please.

Recently a neighbor called me a witch when I was standing there with a broom in my hand.  I will forever be sorry that I didn’t stick the broom between my legs and go trotting off.

Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

FRIENDS AND LAUGHTER – DO NOT TAKE MY PICTURE

I don’t know why and it’s probably one of the great mysteries of the world that every time I leave home, I look in the bathroom mirror and my hair, makeup and clothes look just fine to me.  Then when I am out I catch a reflection of myself in a mirror or window and my jaw drops open and I think, “Oh God, I can’t really look that bad!”  but I’m afraid that I really do look like hell.  My skin washes out, you can’t even see the makeup, my hair looks like it has disappeared entirely and I look really, really BROAD.  Not just my hips, but broad all over, as in twice as big as I should look!!!

My original plan was that since I look so good in the bathroom mirror, just to take it off the wall and take it with me wherever I go.  Maybe, not such a good plan, I’m still thinking that one over.

Then I noticed that whenever someone takes a picture of me, I look the same – not the bathroom mirror same but the wide, washed out look.  I tell you it is not funny to realize that you have gotten old and wide and washed out and bald looking.  And I don’t know what to do about it.  So here’s what I’ve decided – NO MORE PICTURES! EVER!

If I hold my head up and a little tilted back to hide that saggy neck then the camera sees right up my nose and talk about stupid, really, really stupid looking.  If I try to do a pose, it looks like I’ve thrown my back out from my neck to my wazoo and further south.

I’ll have to apologize to my family for not having pictures of myself for them to look at but come to think of it, I could have been looking like this for a while and never knew it because it was always me behind the camera taking the photos of everyone else.  Now there’s an idea, I’ll just be the official photographer at every event I attend.  Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.  Just me and my mug and my bathroom mirror back there in the corner behind the camera!

And no!  I am not putting one of my mug shots in this article, you’re just going to have to use your imagination but please, be kind.


Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!

LAUGHTER - JULIE ANDREWS

I ran across this recently and wanted to pass it on to you, it is soooo funny.

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'.
Here are the lyrics she used:

(If you sing it, it’s especially hysterical)
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.  

Cadillac's and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.  
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.  
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things...  
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things. 

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad. 
(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.) 
Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!