I don’t know why and it’s probably one of the great mysteries of the world that every time I leave home, I look in the bathroom mirror and my hair, makeup and clothes look just fine to me. Then when I am out I catch a reflection of myself in a mirror or window and my jaw drops open and I think, “Oh God, I can’t really look that bad!” but I’m afraid that I really do look like hell. My skin washes out, you can’t even see the makeup, my hair looks like it has disappeared entirely and I look really, really BROAD. Not just my hips, but broad all over, as in twice as big as I should look!!!
My original plan was that since I look so good in the bathroom mirror, just to take it off the wall and take it with me wherever I go. Maybe, not such a good plan, I’m still thinking that one over.
Then I noticed that whenever someone takes a picture of me, I look the same – not the bathroom mirror same but the wide, washed out look. I tell you it is not funny to realize that you have gotten old and wide and washed out and bald looking. And I don’t know what to do about it. So here’s what I’ve decided – NO MORE PICTURES! EVER!
If I hold my head up and a little tilted back to hide that saggy neck then the camera sees right up my nose and talk about stupid, really, really stupid looking. If I try to do a pose, it looks like I’ve thrown my back out from my neck to my wazoo and further south.
I’ll have to apologize to my family for not having pictures of myself for them to look at but come to think of it, I could have been looking like this for a while and never knew it because it was always me behind the camera taking the photos of everyone else. Now there’s an idea, I’ll just be the official photographer at every event I attend. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Just me and my mug and my bathroom mirror back there in the corner behind the camera!
And no! I am not putting one of my mug shots in this article, you’re just going to have to use your imagination but please, be kind.
Wishing you Joy and Laughter Everyday!
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